Partiality in Parenting
Jacob's Problem
One of Jacob’s often-overlooked faults was his blatant partiality—a flaw that had deep consequences in his family.
Genesis 37:3, we read that Jacob gave his son Joseph a special coat, a visible symbol of favoritism that sowed bitterness among his other sons. The very next verse reveals the impact: “But when his brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers, they hated him and could not speak peaceably to him” (v. 4).
Imagine growing up in a household like that. No child wants to feel less loved or overlooked. No child wants to witness another sibling receiving special treatment. Yet, this was Joseph’s reality—and, unfortunately, it remains a reality in many families today.
And where there is favoritism, resentment follows—often growing until it reaches a boiling point.
That’s exactly what happened with Joseph’s brothers. Just a few verses later, their bitterness boils over into action: they conspire to kill him (v. 18), throw him into a pit, and ultimately sell him into slavery. Joseph’s life spirals into hardship, including false accusations and years of imprisonment.
What’s striking is that even years later, Jacob’s behavior remains unchanged. After his sons return from Egypt without Simeon and explain that they must bring Benjamin—the only other son of Rachel—back with them, Jacob refuses. His words in Genesis 42:38 reveal his continued favoritism:
“My son shall not go down with you, for his brother is dead, and he is left alone. If any calamity should befall him along the way in which you go, then you would bring down my gray hair with sorrow to the grave.”
Even after all that had happened, Jacob still showed clear partiality.
As parents—and grandparents—we must learn from Jacob’s failure. We must not allow favoritism to take root in our families. Partiality feeds resentment and division. And more importantly, it contradicts the very nature of God.
Scripture is clear: God does not show favoritism. In Acts 10:34, Peter declares that “God shows no partiality.” Paul echoes this truth in Romans 2:11: “For there is no partiality with God.” To favor one over another undermines God’s call to love others equally—not based on appearance, wealth, ability, or status.
Even more sobering is James’s warning:
“If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself,’ you do well; but if you show partiality, you commit sin, and are convicted by the law as transgressors” (James 2:8–9).
Partiality isn’t just a parenting mistake. It’s sin.
So what does it look like to parent without favoritism? It means loving each child equally. Encouraging each child fairly. Offering praise, correction, and guidance with the same measure of care. It means working diligently to raise all our children with a shared goal: helping them seek and long for heaven.
Let us strive to reflect the impartial love of our Heavenly Father—in our homes, in our churches, and in our hearts.
Notes
Check out this week’s Think Deeper Podcast at Focus Press, featuring a special guest who shared his first-hand experiences with the wickedness in Hollywood